Sunday, September 25, 2011

Releasing For More

I must confess I feel encumbered by my clutter. Goodness, it's not like I even have all that much, yet I still let it "box me in". My daughter and I are blessed to rent out a pretty good 1000 square foot "apartment" in my parent's basement. Yes, I pay them and yes, it's in a basement. Thank goodness we have a full kitchen (minus the extravagent counter/cabinet space) and a huge bathtub (we don't use the jacuzzi). Yes, the plan is to move out soon. I'd rather keep saving/readying myself to move back to the ocean after Bella's current school year finishes, however it may only be nearby so she can go to school here for a few more years. Gosh, who knows, we may even end up staying here for her to finish high school here.

That thought scares me. I am finding we are at the mercy of the core beliefs we develop during our growing up and our situations after that. Or lack of courage, in my case, to go out and live the life I never knew was waiting for me (aka the ocean ~ I've lived in Key West and Miami Beach). Another thing I'm learning about myself: I let the fear keep me in an unhappy place.

That is exactly why I declutter, along with advocating it. I have done it before. I love how decluttering is a not-so-simple physical thing you do yet it reaches into many parts of your life. For us, we can physically release items so we will have to pack less up and move less. I have an expansive belief that whatever I need or desire will come to me, especially the things I surround myself with for daily living. Every time I move and begin setting myself up again, what I need comes to me.

I have an underlying (perhaps core?) desire to live by the ocean again. A few years ago, I released many things I had brought back with me from leaving my abusive ex-husband. I was blessed to release everything. My then-friend Gypsy from Big Pine Key and I had an idea about going into owning a pizza delivery place together. On the heels of her husband's death and refinancing the house left to her, she bought into the pizza place herself. Meanwhile, what I manifested through big releasing at that time was the courage to find a better job within a week that paid a fabulous amount of money. So I stayed at that new job for 6 months, and then I moved. She is no longer a friend and I can see her addictions as everything she tries turns into a puddle of nothing.

What I directly observe in my life is when I release the clutter it releases fear and stuckness, and translates to gaining momentum, belief in myself, and courage. Hooray!

On a Friday about a week ago I put my Ivers & Pond baby grand piano up for sale on Craigslist. It's funny to me that I hadn't even thought to take pictures of the keys. Some great women I work with suggested this. I posted several pictures of the piano. I posted specific details about the condition of the piano, along with its serial number. And I asked on the low end of what I found in researching its value. I had one person interested late Tuesday night. Wednesday night his brother came to view it, as he was out of town on work. By Thursday night, they had put my asking price into my Paypal account. Friday afternoon it was moved out of my house by professional piano movers.

I was amazed. Long a believer, I have also begun working with law of attracting coaching within the last few months. I listen to weekly coaching calls from Hemal Radia and have an extremely enjoyable time interacting with our private facebook group about all the things we are growing through and learning from right now as we transform our lives. During this process of selling my piano, I did something different. I held faith for myself that the good things would actually happen. I am well versed at creating things but then allowing them to disappear just as quickly. I am finding it is a matter of holding faith, being calm, and all-over simply choosing to now believe in yourself during all of what is happening. It worked!

I am amazed also at the relief I felt in having the piano physically gone. Yes, it's awesome to have the extra bit of money to consciously spend and enjoy. For me, it reaches farther. When I purchased this piano, it was on a whim because I felt it was hardly any money. And then on a Monday morning about a year and a half ago I walked into my five month old job working for a female neurosurgeon and was fired. That same week I spent more money to move the new piano into my home. Now that sadness can begone. The bigger life belief for me is that I manifested what symbolized a dream (it is on a treasure map I did in 2006). It wasn't exactly what I wanted (shiny and beautiful and I loved to play it), but then again living in my parents basement both of us helping each other out hasn't been ideal either. I feel no more sadness.

I trust because that piano came into my life easily, another one that I love more will come when it is meant to. For now, other things are coming into our lives. Decluttering. Working and earning money again. Being more conscious about what I do spend my time on. ...and then there's all that I desire and am working towards. Sigh. Happy times are here!

I know you haven't heard much from me lately. I want to thank you and other helpful people in my life. Physical nearby friends these days are few, so I'm grateful to surround myself with reading fabulous minimalist blogs Joshua and Ryan, Courtney, Leo Babauta and a handful from people who are choosing to travel the world for years Wandering Earl, Ayngelina, The Mad Traveler, awesome pictures, and also ones ones focusing on living more succulently like Benny and A Big Creative Yes.