Monday, May 30, 2011

Releasing Into More Wonderful!

I had an incredible releasing experience last night. Actually, for the past several months I have been blessed to be in good energy. Astrologically, friend-wise, surrounded by positive facebook influences, it's-now-spring-after-a-long-dreary-Minnesota-winter. All of the above.

For different reasons, I have been sitting home for the last year. I don't like my home, yet I am incredibly appreciative to have a place to live. I know it's time to bring a new living experience into our lives (it's just my daughter and I together). I have experienced/felt/seen my health deteriorate over the winter. Perhaps I manifest that because I simply rebel or resist living in Minnesota with family and winters. I am no longer constantly reflecting how blessed I was to live in South Florida.

So now my story is I've chosen to stay home, to not look for a job after getting fired. Regardless of the money I have been blessed to have in the interim, I love how every spring/summer I'm ready to jump into life again! I am even more grateful for all that is good and beautiful in my life.

I love how even when I've lived through experiences that weren't about living life to the fullest, in time I reflect back and the lessons are glaringly clear to me. Living with a mother (separate living space but the same house) who does not love herself and therefore cannot love others for who they are, I have gained many insights more speedily by living with her. And yes, I am ever grateful when I propel myself to move out, to move into a life I again can love.

I was at a dear friend's new apartment last night. It was a housewarming/house blessing/fire ritual. I have been reflecting on what beliefs to release into the fire. Funny that I didn't "hear" we could write about what we wanted to release OR bring in. I am all about releasing everything that no longer works. I've been unhappy, of course blaming it on winter. I can only blame it on my inactivity and my need to sit for a time.

We had an outdoor fire and read aloud if we wanted to. I simply said I released all that no longer served me. I burned my paper with the words expressing a lot of what hasn't been working for perhaps all my life. I had found a blank notebook paper and picked it up. Intentionally, I collectively invited the new energies in, saying I welcomed the next part of my story, our stories. This is big. It is not big to release since I love releasing physically and in journaling. It is big to invite whatever comes next without needing to know exactly what it is. Oh, my heart certainly holds many intentions for my every day.

This is what I invite in, for myself and for all of us.

~ Success in whatever is inside our hearts, whatever creative dreams we are meant
to be living
~ Happiness with ourselves, our bodies, our lives, our moments, and whoever we share
our lives with
~ To be healthy, fit, exuberantly alive, loving the body we are in so we can be of
service, doing all that passionately lives inside of us!
~ Success beyond our wildest imagination! This means the instantaneous releasing of
all fears that have kept us back. I'm ready! We are all ready and worth it!

Have a fantastic life doing all that you live!

Monday, May 23, 2011

In Love With Miami

A friend of mine, a fellow succulent, asked my opinion of Miami. I'm taken by surprise. Not at all because I am asked my opinion. It has been part of my life since 2002. Each day I think about my treasured memories from experiences, places, and wonderful people from the city in the sun.

For me, one reason I loved Miami is because I have travelled to 20 countries so far in my life. (All before the vivacious age of 31!) I adore the swirling cultural mix of so many peoples. I adore it, and also it frustrated me at times, too. I suppose the things you love you also hate at times. Or you dislike them when you are first exposed to fresh habits and ways others living more feistily do things. They grow on you. No matter what is happening in my life, I love that I always surround myself with endearing people. People who would do anything for you. People who's mannerisms you treasure with your heart.

I still haven't learned Spanish. I remember our block where we had a small studio apartment seven blocks from the ocean. It was close to an expansive public park in Miami Beach. Some of my neighbors in the building next to me spoke no English. Yes, that in itself is endearing to me now that I am so far away from it: how can one live in an English-speaking country for 20, 30 years and not assimilate into the culture enough to learn the language fluently. There is no need to. Our "abuela" was cuban. My daughter's father was cuban and most of the other cubans we met could clearly see she was cuban. Most everyone adores her even looking at pictures of her, and even moreso when they meet her. She, like me, leaves an impression on the heart. Little Isabella would translate between the neighbors and myself. Isabela went to Lincoln-Marti and then Happy Kids schools, with an abundance of Spanish-speaking teachers.

Ah, the men! I could go on about how sexy these latin men are to me. I could! Even the Cubans after being treated horribly by my ex-husband. Yes, I'm still attracted to the sexy Cubans. However, my friend is not gay so no need to go into details. :) I must sidenotedly say before I moved to south Florida, the majority of the men I dated had been from foreign countries. They simply intrigue me. Still do.

I would say Miami is not for the faint at heart! I absolutely loved careening around in my car on the 836 and the Palmetto going 90 or 95. Yes, my old 1999 Blazer could still do that! That style of driving is certainly not for many. I'm a person in control of my faculties. Aware. And so I simply loved the wild driving down there. I always warned people going down to be careful. Or not to get upset in their taxi rides. The cities down there are so vastly spread out because of the enormous population. It simply takes forever to get anywhere. We lived near Ocean Drive on the beach. If I wanted to "save some money" at Walmart, I would have to haul ass for 20 minutes going 80 or 85. I didn't do it very much because service was increasingly more and more frustrating. All the factors in my life down there didn't much allow tolerance for those providing poor or low quality customer service. I am certain with the continuously dwindling economy, it hasn't been encouraged to get much better.

Like any city, there is much to see in Miami. Many festivals and special occasions remarkable to the city and surrounding cities. Organized by local cities, so many activities are free. On a Sunday night beach walk, Isabella and I happened upon a parade march of drums and percussions. It was a celebration of a country's independence day. It was fun to join in and shake it! Music, culture, art, vibrant colors and personalities ~ it's all there for the taking!

Like anywhere today, it is a challenge to meet fabulous people. I honestly can admit I have high expectations for myself and for those I choose to include in my life. I adored the friends I made from my work. They were from an array of Latin American and caribbean countries, sprinkled with a few Americans even a small dosage of Midwesterners like myself.

I have only touched on life in Miami. I'm grateful for this chance to write about it a bit, for I think about how great life was down there almost daily. If there's anything you'd like to know, please let me know in the notes.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I Am Grateful

I am grateful for big and small things. I trust life is meant to be what it is right now. At the same time, I am grateful for all the motivation I surround myself with these days. Thank you friends, fantastic authors, motivational everyones! I trust if I keep filling myself with positive thoughts life will keep getting better and better. I allow myself to learn the lessons I need to learn, am meant to learn. I now move more quickly through things that are not so fun, along with striding forward even when fear is lurking about.

I am grateful I am creative and seem to have an everflowing basket of ideas/projects to work on. I love all the experiences I have lived, even the hard ones. All that I've lived and dreamed, pulled into a more solid and seeable form, can help others. I am grateful when I take the time to work on being creative, whether its through writing, art, craft projects with my daughter, even rearranging my peaceful home.

I am grateful when I let myself do the creative work, the spiritual work, the quiet work. Over this winter, it's been easier for me to numb myself with food, get caught up in tv plots, housework, and just the plain "shoulds". Now I walk into me time. Yes, I'm still a mom. Yes, I have a home to keep up. Yes, I have a life to get into order after a drought. Yet I'm declaring as spring springs forth so do I, all parts of me!

Thanks for being part of my life by reading this blog! I am grateful for you!