Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Living More In The Now

I was just lying in bed, not trying very hard to fall asleep. I started to say what I was grateful for. My mind slipped to thinking about how I'd like to start doing some leg/arm exercises daily and to do some exercise daily, too. That, of course, got me wondering how to do this when I start working again. It's easy now that my days are filled with me...but I expect to be working in some new office again very soon.

It's fun being a single mom ~ or even being a mom for that matter, isn't it! :)  I don't know about you, but I have LOTS on my plate! All these things to see if I can fit in the day when I'm motivated to do so (are you chuckling already, too? ). And those things to do to improve myself and our life. Ah, well.

No wonder my mind keeps drifting from saying gratitudes to myself just before I fall asleep. This time in wondering how I would fit in this blossoming desire to take care of myself in different ways, I drifted to how I did it when Bella and I lived in our own little studio apartment seven blocks from the ocean in Miami Beach. We would crash awake, bumble around and had to get out the door by a certain time. I had careen from 14th street all the way to 70th street or so on Collins Avenue. Now I can feel the whir of the art deco hotels and rising sun on my mind's eye.

I would drop my precious little daughter off at her pre-kindergarten daycare called Happy Kids. What a lovely name! She had mostly good experiences there! I am chuckling to myself remembering an instance where a mom came up to me as the moms lingered a few moments after picking their children up. She asked if I wanted to get her son and my daughter together to play. I was always open to meeting new people when we lived there, to bringing new experiences in.

That changed in the blink of an eye when in the next few days I was told about 'an incident' with our kids. Kids are kids, that's my belief. She was upset with my daugher, leaving all blame in our court. The teachers weren't watching the kids and just these two went in some small room and were sharing their parts with each other. They were only five years old. Rather than be mad at anyone, I immediately wondered where the teachers were when this happend. That's why I chuckle, it's just the nature of kids~not that this occured any other time :)

Lying in bed, I couldn't remember which bridge or causeway I took to allow me to get to work on time. Probably the 41st street one. It's interesting that my memory is already fading. In many ways, this is a great sign. I tend to miss the life I just came from when I move from the tropics to the tundra. Now nearing the end of what I could call a tropical tundra winter, I am enjoying myself. Enjoying much of my days. Happy to be alive and on the mend. Just plain happy to be feeling better! As I was telling people last month 'my 18 months of suckiness are over'. Thank goodness!

I see it as a good sign that life in Miami Beach is fading. Obviously this raised in the midwest girl will forever treasure those ocean sunsets. That favorite drive in the Florida Keys with the Atlantic Sea on one side and the Gulf of Mexico on the other is forever etched in my heart. Yet these days I strive to keep putting one happy foot in front of the other. I'm working with some writing clients and figuring out how to take 1-2 classes this summer to go back to school for a nursing degree. Yes, really. I have been thinking about it for years, since Bella was born. So that's over eight years. Time to do something. I find myself wondering out loud if she and I will be in Minnesota until she's 18 so she can go to her same great school district. I figure that's enough time to become a nurse, since that's only 10 years left...till I could live on a sailboat and sail around some of the world. Yep, that's one of my current dreams - to get rid of almost everything and live on a sailboat. Yep, I've got a lot of fabulous dreams in my heart!

Here's to hoping fabulous Y O U is having a terrific new year so far and that your dreams are starting to play out!