An old time family friend posted as his fb status "nice guys finish last". I didn't know if he was referring to himself or his situation of detangling from a marriage with two small girls. Some thoughts came to mind since reading this from him - but first I must say obviously we can never ever truly know what another has lived. Immediately I wondered if he wasn't a bad boy. So perhaps people can change from what they used to be, if perhaps they grew up kind of wild.
This can a person change thing has got to be a home-grown Minnesota concept. Ha! Myself, I met my bad boy walking down Duval street in Key West on May 25, 2002. He had long, dark, curly hair and we talked for hours that first night. We're long divorced, although he still intrigues me.
I believe we have the capacity to let any situation or person change us into a better person. Reflecting just on a surface level, I think it could happen. Yet if one was wild and addicted in the first place, you're not going to be living a deep, spiritual, fulfilling life I would gather.
It's heartwrenching when you figure out you do have a bad boy and that's what he is. As for myself, I'm anxious to know why indeed we settle for these surfacey sexier-than-hell boys when we end up running like hell later on? Please share with me your thoughts on this! At least in this journey of the last eight years or so, I've allowed myself to turn inward and reflect good things. Yes, you could say it's all good or it simply is. Thank goodness I'm where I am now, with this man who'll stay in my life because of our daughter not being such a bad boy any more. Today I'm grateful for all the forgiveness work I've done and even moreso for all the learning and self-reflecting to know how I've gotten to this step.
I know I didn't really touch on how they do get theirs, but even when all seems unfair and perhaps your whole world has topped momentarily, everything does get evened out. You only need to wait and the tears will dry.
It's funny because I am always getting labeled a lot times as the "bad boy" type, which usually ends up with me dating a girl who wants the bad boy and finds out later that is not me which basically translates into ending relationships.
ReplyDeleteI dont know what it is, why girls like that type so much. Why girls need to have a guy that needs "fixing" because no one ever really changes, at least not when someone wants them too.
I also think think if a person is labeled the "Nice Guy" it's because that person lacks confidence usually in relationships, and woman want a guy who is confident, which most "bad boys" are confident, at least present that they are on face level. Underneath they probably are not, if they beat on woman/kids/animals, or just plain asses it's because they are insecure and hate something about their own self and take it out on the other person who is usually closest to them at that time. It's sad..
Anyways I am gonna shut up now ;) I like this blog by the way.
-JW
thanks! :) i love reading your blog too! rocky's a great looking guy! :) i have to read your stuff about korea...i went in 1987 for a week. i think there's a difference between a guy looking "bad" (read sexy, interesting, out of the normal boringness) and being bad. perhaps we all want to be a little bad sometimes. ;) i know i miss the excitement and freedom i lived down in south florida...haha, probably speaks to my age or that i'm a writer. thanks for stopping by!
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