Day 8: Someone Who Made My Life Hell/Treated Me Like Shit

I am so grateful my days with this person are over. Unfortunately, he will potentially be in my life in the future because he's my daughters father.

Several years ago, I had a great life. Adventurous, I moved to Florida. I met him three days after arriving, two days into our Key West vacation/adventure. I must say I am eternally grateful for my daughter, although i honestly didn't plan to be a single mom. Whatever way I'm making a life with my daughter, I'm eternally grateful.

There were numerous red flags (probably 500 or so), yet I stayed. I didn't realize it until long after I'd left the umpteenth time I just wanted to be loved. This was so strong that I stayed with someone who didn't know how to be a decent person. I didn't see the warning signs that he was a drug addict. I was hooked too early into it. Not hooked on the drugs, hooked on him, hooked on thinking it was indeed my fault he was so mean.

I am blessed I did not stay with him for long. In my years of support groups for survivors of domestic violence, I have learned inumerable valuable things. About myself. About abusers. And best of all, to stay away. I guess we hope beyond hope they will change, but time shows in my own experience they do not. Now is the time to keep healing and in the good times for me, to focus on me instead of wondering if he's changed and wants to be part of my daughter's life, my life. I have to keep telling myself he's made his choice. He's a few years older than me and had a rough life. Still, he's shown me he's already made his choices. Bigger than that, for what I never learned in time, I am happy to teach my daughter about healthy relationships, treating yourself nurturingly so you don't have deep problems later on, and how to be a healthy, positive, loving woman with her eyes open in today's world.